(Nut Newz Exclusive:) As the Trump administration rolls out the most oppressive, racist, unconstitutional provisions of the Heritage Foundation’s vision of America, Project 2025, Nut Newz has learned that its authors are hard at work on a new, even more draconian design for dictatorship, Project 2026. Nut Newz spoke to an anonymous inside source about the Heritage Foundation’s plans to take their authoritarian ambitions to the next level.

Nut Newz: Project 2025 is literally a manifesto on how to overthrow American democracy and replace it with a totalitarian tyrant. What could Project 2026 add to that?

Anonymous: Project 2025 is an excellent start, but its creators feel that in many ways it does not go far enough to stifle rights and freedoms. For example, Project 2025 envisions that once a woman becomes pregnant, the Bible and politicians assume authority over her biological autonomy. Project 2026 goes further, ordering that a woman has no right to reproductive freedom at any time. All women of childbearing age will be enslaved in government run “ovulation camps,” and impregnated by men with small, strangely shaped penises. After all, a woman’s most valuable, productive role in an ultra-conservative society is to incubate more servants to the fascist masters.

Nut Newz: What else does Project 2026 have in store?

Anonymous: While Project 2025 is doing a great job of reshaping the federal workforce into a partisan boondoggle of clueless toadies, there are still far too many federal officials who are qualified to do their jobs and are motivated only by public service, with no concern for the benefits of political cronyism. Project 2026 will remove any semblance of merit based selection criteria. Federal appointments will be based only on how much the candidates are willing to debase themselves in servitude to the ruling dictator and oligarchs. Integrity, knowledge of science or engineering, or any desire whatsoever to help others, will actually disqualify candidates from consideration, in favor of blind, unquestioning loyalty. After all, stopping airplane crashes and pandemics isn’t nearly as important as kissing President Trump’s ass!

Nut Newz: Aren’t you concerned that Project 2026 could at some point give unlimited power to a Democratic President, who might use that power to do good things for all Americans, not just the privileged few?

Anonymous: Of course not. Ultra right ideology works only for those who see government as a way to further their own desires for unlimited wealth, power and personal gain–namely Donald Trump and his legions of Republican followers. Like Sauron’s One Ring, Project 2026 can only be used by its evil creators. Anyone with any compassion, empathy or concern for the future could not bear to cause such horrible harm to others. While Project 2025 is a “Mandate for Leadership,” Project 2026 will take the Heritage Foundation’s aspirations a step further, as a “Mandate for Dictatorship!”