The Orange Outlaw Gang (Nut Newz Exclusive)

Republican lawmakers howl in outrage and campaign donations soar after Donald Trump’s thirty-four count felony conviction. According to a senior Trump political consultant, who spoke to Nut Newz on the condition of anonymity, the Republican response to Trump’s latest legal setback has inspired a bold new campaign strategy. “The more deplorably Trump behaves, the more support he receives from the Republican party,” said the consultant. “Since the more he breaks the law, the more popular he becomes, President Trump has decided to form an outlaw gang and embark on a crime spree across America!”

Nut Newz has also received a photograph of the gang and identified its members. In addition to Trump, the Prophet of Peril “Moses” Mike Johnson, and Blind-Eye “Wrasslin” Jim Jordan have joined the Trump gang. The anonymous consultant told Nut Newz that the gang plans to stage a series of bank robberies across democratic states, noting that, “They’ll keep away from red states, everybody knows they’re broke anyway. If the GOP wants a criminal for a leader, we’ll give them the biggest one possible!” It looks like the party of law order has become the party of cons and chaos!