After the Florida tourism website took down its LGBTQ-dedicated page, it was unclear why there is still a page featuring a man wearing high-heel boots. Upon further review, it appears that page is the “Letter from the Governor” featuring Ron DeSantis explaining the Loofa system for senior swingers.

Outraged by the years of demeaning vitriol, the LGBTQ+ community unanimously decided to oust Governor DeSantis from his home in Tallahassee. “We told him if he doesn’t leave, then he’s totally gay!” explained Steve, a sassy DMV clerk with a grudge. “He even agreed to let us carry him out of town on the condition that we don’t get his boots dirty.”