(Nut Newz Exclusive;) In a stunning exclusive release, Nut Newz is the first to announce that the Trump administration has created a film production company and has already begun filming its first full length blockbuster! Nut Newz spoke to Executive Producer Karoline Leavitt about the upcoming initial effort from Trump Films.
Nut Newz: We are shocked to hear that the presidential administration of Donald Trump has created a film production company and is already working on its first film. Shouldn’t President Trump be focusing on his duties as president?
Leavitt: President Trump has no time for mundane matters such as keeping the government open or providing affordable healthcare or SNAP benefits to the American people. He is totally focused on the overriding goal of covering up his involvement with Jefferey Epstein, and the evidence of his inappropriate behavior with underage females, that everyone knows is contained in the Epstein files. His latest scheme is to produce and release movies. What better way to distract people from presidential pedophilia than a good flick?
Nut Newz: We understand that you are already in production with your first project. Tell us about it.
Leavitt: Trump Films is thrilled and proud to announce that we are working on a remake of one of the greatest films of all time–Raiders of the Lost Ark! We have reworked the title and introduced some more relevant plot elements. Our film is titled Hiders of the Lost Files. Rather than an archaeologist seeking to uncover lost historical treasures, our hero is a corrupt, pedophile politician actually seeking to cover up secrets contained in the Epstein files and keep them hidden from a prying public.
Nut Newz: Wait a minute….how can you remake a film that is owned by another company? I find it hard to believe the owners of Raiders would have authorized Trump Films to have any access to the film rights of such a valuable franchise.
Leavitt: Haven’t you heard yet that Donald Trump don’t need no stinking authorizations? He just totally demolished an entire wing of the White House, with no authorization whatsoever, and nobody was able to do a thing to stop him. What’s to stop him from ripping off a film franchise? What are they going to do, sue us? We’ll take any lawsuits to the Supreme Court, and everybody knows how that will turn out.
Nut Newz: Tell us more about the movie.
Leavitt: As I said, we’ve made some changes from the original. The hero, a corrupt politician named Pedophilia Prez, is being threatened by information in files that implicates him in some incredibly illegal and immoral past behavior. The movie chronicles his efforts to destroy these files and keep the information from the public. Viewers will thrill to see him bomb fishing boats, destroy national landmarks, invade his own cities, and shut down the entire government, in unsuccessful attempts to divert attention from his unsavory past. But our movie does recreate some of the classic characters from the original. For example, our own Stephen Miller will be playing the sadistic, psychotic Nazi, whose very presence is enough to nauseate and terrify even the most courageous soul. And we are thrilled with his realistic portrayal so far. The role seems to come totally naturally to him. He doesn’t even have to act! And or course, the hero, Pedophilia Prez, will be played by none other than President Trump himself. While we realize that President Trump is now physically and mentally barely able to function in any coherent manner, we aren’t worried. We have an A.I. Trump ready to artificially depict all of his actions. A.I. is already working to allow him to remain president in spite of being the most debilitated person in history to ever hold public office. At some point, President Trump’s evil billionaire Project 2025 masters won’t even need a living mouthpiece. A.I. Trump will work just fine.
Nut Newz; Well good luck on your latest efforts to wipe President Trump’s involvement in the Epstein scandal from the national consciousness. No doubt you’re hoping to hide the Epstein files away in a giant warehouse where they’ll never be found or heard from again, just like at the end of Raiders. But it might not work…..Speaker Johnson is going to have to reconvene the House of Representatives and swear in its newest member some time. If and when the Epstein files do get released, the proverbial shit is going to hit the fan for President Trump, protective garments not withstanding. Maybe your next film can chronicle how the corrupt, pedophile protecting republican party gets swept out of office in the midterm elections, after which President Trump will be able to add to an already impressive impeachment record. Let’s see, what would be a good title for a film like that? There are a lot of choices, but most importantly, President Trump will be Gone With the Wind!
