Trump Hires New Campaign Manager to Help Him Act Like an Even Bigger Asshole
Donald Trump and his new campaign manager, Proctologist Enos Prober.
July 2024
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Fascist Influencer Chaya Raichik of LibsOfTikTok Has Died of Ligma
Known for acts of terrorism against the LGBT+ community, Chaya Raichik was admitted to Hadamar Hospital this morning with a swollen throat and a high fever. After she tested negative for strep throat her symptoms worsened. Additional blood tests found traces of a similar but less common bacteria ligmacoccal pharyngitis. “Typically a ligmacoccal infection only…
Editorial: Trump Loses Control of the Monster He Created
Like a modern day Dr. Frankenstein, Donald Trump lost control of the monster he created, and it almost destroyed him. Rather than stitching body parts together, Trump assembled a vast repertoire of hateful, racist, aggressive rhetoric that inspired countless acts and threats of violence, that he has done absolutely nothing to dispel, nationwide. This climate…
Biden Added to Lollapalooza 2024 Lineup
Needing to find a way to energize his base, President Joe Biden made an executive order adding himself to the 2024 Lollapalooza lineup. “Secret Service just showed up to my house and told me that the President will be performing at the festival this year,” explained Lollapalooza founder Perry Farrell. Celebrating it’s 20th anniversary in…
Congress Disconnects Phones Ahead of SCOTUS Ruling on Trump Immunity
Expecting an overwhelming wave of phone calls, the US Senate and House of Representatives have disconnected their phone lines accessible to the public. After the Supreme Court rolled back decades of precedent last week, Congressional offices were inundated with phone calls. Even more calls are were expected today regardless of the outcome for the ruling…