The Orange Outlaw Gang (Nut Newz Exclusive) Republican lawmakers howl in outrage and campaign donations soar after Donald Trump’s thirty-four count felony conviction. According to a senior Trump political consultant, who spoke to Nut Newz on the condition of anonymity, the Republican response to Trump’s latest legal setback has inspired a bold new campaign strategy….
Fans of judicial mayhem, hang onto your robes and get ready for another season of Justice Wife Swap! Coming this fall, the new season opens with a banging gavel, as two of our ultraconservative, ethically challenged adjudicators, “Billionaire Buddy” Clarence Thomas and “Woe is Roe” Samuel Alito, switch spouses. Thomas’s wife Ginni says she looks…
COUP FALLS — President Biden speaks earnestly of preserving democracy, and his approval ratings plummet. Donald Trump brags of being a dictator on day one, quotes Hitler, and surges in the polls. While it may seem fantastic and impossible that a large number of Americans want Trump as their dictator, a prominent conservative think-tank director…
Florida Governor Ron DeSantis seen gleefully steamrolling iconic Florida State University Westcott Fountain As President Biden announced an additional $7.7 billion in student loan forgiveness, Republican governors across the country fume over poor voters breaking free from crippling debt. This morning in Texas, Governor Greg Abbott personally locked the door to the financial aid office…
FANTASYLAND, USA: In a new poll recently conducted by CNN (Conservative Nonsense Network), 55% of polled Americans now say they see Donald Trump’s presidency as a success. Some of the reasons given for the support of Trump’s presidency include his handing of the COVID pandemic, with several poll participants noting appreciation for learning new uses…
MOSCOW — Igor Trollstoy, head of the Russian Department of American Election Manipulation, today announced a major new breakthrough in Russia’s efforts to manipulate and undermine the upcoming 2024 American elections. Codenamed Robotroll, the robotic lie spreader will be a powerful new source of election meddling, using easily manipulated social media platforms to swamp American…
“Holy Shit! Let’s Make America Pray Again. Pray for my broke ass as we head into Good Friday and Easter, I beg you to buy a copy, or two, of the God Bless the USA Bible,” Trump wrote. Trump released a video on his Truth Social platform on Tuesday inciting his supporters to buy the…
