(Tecoluca, El Salvador;) Days after declaring the due process protections of the Constitution null and void, Attorney General Pam Bondi wasted little time in exercising her new powers of persecution. Not satisfied with merely harassing, threatening and arresting Federal Judges or deporting cancer stricken toddlers, Bondi proudly announced her latest, most outrageous assault on Constitutional freedom. At a news conference at the CECOT Terrorism Confinement Center in Tecoluca, El Salvador, Bondi unveiled her latest, greatest despotic deportation–the arrest and imprisonment of the Statue of Liberty!

Speaking to a captive audience outside the Statue’s custom built detainment cell at the infamous El Salvadorian gulag, Bondi explained her newest authoritarian atrocity. “The Statue of Liberty is exactly the kind of foreign, outlaw, subversive presence that is no longer welcomed in the America of Donald Trump. Although she has resided in America since 1886, her French origins raise serious concerns. Also, the green hue of her skin does not jibe with President Trump’s belief that the Constitution only protects those of caucasian coloration. But Lady Liberty’s most egregious offense is the inscription on her base. Suggesting that ‘poor, tired, huddled masses yearning to be free’ are welcome in America, directly contradicts Trump administration policies of welcoming only rich, corrupt individuals with proper skin tone, who are ready and able to pay to play. Poor, huddled masses seeking freedom are the exact distasteful demographic we want to get rid of. We can now arrest and deport individuals based solely on the content of their tattoos, even phony photoshopped ones, with no due process protections. The Statue’s offensive inscription is more than enough to send her away for good.”

Asked when Lady Liberty’s trial would be held and she would be given her Fourth and Fourteenth Amendment rights, Bondi responded, “That’s the best part! Never! Now that President Trump has seized the power of Constitutional interpretation from the Supreme Court, we don’t have to provide due process to anyone! If we don’t like you, we’ll arrest and deport you, with no right to a trial or any judicial proceedings. That disgusting, un-American statue is never coming back and there’s nothing she or anyone else can do about it!”

So buckle up America…..the land of liberty and justice for all is now the land of liberty and justice just for White, conservative, Christians willing to swear fealty to our Orange Oppressor. Everyone else had better get their bags packed and be ready for an unexpected, one-way trip!