(Arlington, VA ) On a day normally dedicated to honoring veterans who gave their lives to protect America’s freedoms, President Donald Trump instead sent cringes through a Memorial Day crowd at Arlington National Cemetery with mindless blather about his favorite subject–himself. Standing in front of the Tomb of the Unknowns, Trump took advantage of the…
Health officials at the CDC have declared an epidemic corresponding to ongoing election results. Researchers have determined the only explanation why someone would vote for Donald Trump in 2024, is due to viral infection. Symptoms of the MAGA-24 virus include dissociation from reality, rampant bigotry, and self destructive behavior. Autopsy results show evidence of brain…
Donald Trump and his new campaign manager, Proctologist Enos Prober.
Like a modern day Dr. Frankenstein, Donald Trump lost control of the monster he created, and it almost destroyed him. Rather than stitching body parts together, Trump assembled a vast repertoire of hateful, racist, aggressive rhetoric that inspired countless acts and threats of violence, that he has done absolutely nothing to dispel, nationwide. This climate…
Expecting an overwhelming wave of phone calls, the US Senate and House of Representatives have disconnected their phone lines accessible to the public. After the Supreme Court rolled back decades of precedent last week, Congressional offices were inundated with phone calls. Even more calls are were expected today regardless of the outcome for the ruling…
McDonald’s turned away the former Celebrity Apprentice host due to their policy requiring footwear NEW ORLEANS – After spending the last few days lowering expectations for his upcoming debate with President Biden, convicted felon Donald Trump has starting showing signs of weariness. Those closest to him have expressed concerns regarding a new habit. “[Trump] said…
Convicted Felon Donald Trump laughs at his own joke on an empty debate stage ATLANTA — While the official date for the debate between President Joe Biden and Donald Trump is set for next Thursday, June 27th, the studio received an unexpected guest a week early. Mr. Trump, recently convicted of 34 felonies, took so…
The Orange Outlaw Gang (Nut Newz Exclusive) Republican lawmakers howl in outrage and campaign donations soar after Donald Trump’s thirty-four count felony conviction. According to a senior Trump political consultant, who spoke to Nut Newz on the condition of anonymity, the Republican response to Trump’s latest legal setback has inspired a bold new campaign strategy….
“Holy Shit! Let’s Make America Pray Again. Pray for my broke ass as we head into Good Friday and Easter, I beg you to buy a copy, or two, of the God Bless the USA Bible,” Trump wrote. Trump released a video on his Truth Social platform on Tuesday inciting his supporters to buy the…
